I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
