um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
