My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
