two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
