yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I stole a fireplace last night.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
