ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
