well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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