I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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