The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
he fucked my hip out of place.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
