Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Randomize
