i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
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