We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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