why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
