The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
