my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
