remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize