Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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