DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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