I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
