real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
P.S. I can't hear my feet
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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