right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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