her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
