He kissed a someone with a penis
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
