I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
