Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
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