he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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