I should be sponsored by Trojan
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
