it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
