Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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