I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
