only if we run a train.
done.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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