and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
