this is something i pride myself on being below average for
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
