so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
