You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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