ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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