Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
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