Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
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