I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
