Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
