Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
