is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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