There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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