? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
My sheets look like a crime scene.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
