Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
