We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
