I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
