We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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