At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
