Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
