"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
