guys are not supposed to queef...right?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
