i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
