Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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