It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
