God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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