You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
