vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i think i scared a bird with my dick
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Randomize
