is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
