"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
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That's how twitter works, right?
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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