All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
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