so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
