Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
