i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
